i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
