we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
