He kissed a someone with a penis
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
