I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
