Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
