google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's never too late to be topless.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
