Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
