So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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