HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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