put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The beer is more important than you right now.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
