Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize