She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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