Fine. I'll sleep in my office
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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