but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
