It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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