i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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