I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize