im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
