It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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