My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
