she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
