My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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