As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
