At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
