Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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