so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
