too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
