Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
