I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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