I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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