Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
