i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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