so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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