DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
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