it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
