Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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