Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We are all done wearing pants today
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
