....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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