This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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