I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
