Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize