I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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