i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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