Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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