I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
