It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
