I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
