I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
