Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
