you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
