and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
