please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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