she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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