her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
