just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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