Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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